What does it even mean to be “whole”?
I understand not wanting to be in a relationship with a person who refuses to be accountable for meeting their needs and emotional growth…but I think that one of the most unhelpful things that I’ve been told was that you need to be “whole” in order to be with someone.
What does it even mean to be “whole”? Does it mean that I’m 100%, 100% of the time? Does it mean that my insecurities never have a significant impact on how I feel on a given day? Does it mean that I need to have healed from all of my trauma - which is a lifelong process in itself - before I can be in partnership with someone else?
I think that we should be moving away from this idea of wholeness and towards opening up ways to have honest conversations with our partner(s) about capacity, support, and who is able to hold space at a given time. That to me is more realistic, relieves a lot of unnecessary pressure, and makes more sense.